


Three months of hate

by KazuaKoizumi



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Physical Abuse, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-02
Updated: 2017-07-02
Packaged: 2018-11-22 13:14:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11380920
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KazuaKoizumi/pseuds/KazuaKoizumi
Summary: The team wakes up in the control room. Keith is missing and they don't remember what happened.Red is angry and Keith almost dies because of them.





	Three months of hate

**Author's Note:**

> changed it a bit. It is my first fan fiction in english, so... don't be gentle. I have to know what's WRONG. I wanted to make this story a lot longer, but guess what? I didn't!   
> Thanks for the kudos!

   
   
   
When Lance woke up, he didn't know where he was, he just knew something was wrong.  
  
 He didn't know how he ended up like that, and didn't remember what had happened neither, but he knew for sure that he felt terribly nauseous and had a terrible headache. He felt cold, maybe it was because he was on the ground or... maybe opening his eyes...  
  
He found out, after a moment of throbbing pain, he was on the ground of the control room. There were dark figures around him, but he didn't know who they were. They were too dark, and the light behind them was too bright.  
  
He shut his eyes, not bearing the strong lights in the castle.  
  
He was panting from the pain now, he hoped there was someone near him. Maybe Hunk or ...Allura. It would be nice to be cradled by her.  
  
 He felt a hand on his shoulder and heard someone call his name with worry.  
  
Was it Hunk? Pidge?  
  
He forced his eyes open, finding the faces of Hunk, Pidge, Shiro, Coran and Allura.  
  
The room behind them spinned and he felt something go wrong in his stomach. A little later he found himself vomiting on the floor, with strong arms sustaining him.  
  
<< There you go buddy... it's all okay >> Hunk's voice was sweet and clear. He felt better. His body wasn't aching anymore, and his headache was getting better. His vision was getting better too. He recognized Pidge, Shiro, Hunk, Coran and Allura.  
  
<< What...what happened? >> He croaked out  
  
<< We don't know >> answered Shiro. Suddenly he was lifted up an put on his sit. They were in the control room << do you remember anything? >>  
  
<< No >>   
  
Pidge was examining the camera footage, trying to find out what had happened, but by her frustrated expression, she wasn't having much success. Hunk was fussing over something, nervous as always, while Shiro was discussing with Coran and the princess about the situation. He listened to them, feeling a lot better, he wanted answers as well.  
  
<< The castle isn't damaged, and nobody has is own armor on, so we weren't under attack >> Shiro said  
  
<< Oh, and nobody of us is physically hurt. No cuts, no blood, no anything >> Coran announced  << But we all felt horrible waking up, and we all expelled fluids >>  
  
<< Maybe we had to get rid of something inside of us >>  Hunk said. They all turned to look at him << like ...like poison! Or something >>   
  
<< Guys! >> Called Pidge << The last time we stopped to a planet was a month ago. Do all of us remember that? >>  
  
<< Yes. I took those delicious mushrooms which glowed blue, that tasted like chocolate there! >> Hunk exclaimed, smiling at the memory.  
  
<< Wait a minute >> Lance interrupted them. Something was missing...SOMEONE was missing. His rival was missing! How could he forget?! << Where's Keith?! >>   
  
They looked at him puzzled for a moment, then started worrying.  
  
<< We forgot Keith! >> Yelled Hunk, already anxious out of his mind << what if he is dead? What if he is so sick he is dying ?! We are terrible friends! >>   
  
<< Here it says he is in the hangar, with the lions >> Pidge informed them. Then she looked anxious too << he isn't okay. His vitals are too low! >>   
  
<< Coran, prepare a cryo pod, we're going to take him there soon. Paladins, with me! >>   
  
And they found themselves running towards the hangar. Lance felt his heart throbbing: Keith was really dying and they had forgotten about him. Lance had forgotten about him! His rival! How could he!?!  
  
They had had an argument, he remembered.  
  
They had just returned from a strange planet, which seemed inhabited by creatures with a developed intelligent, but was full of strange plants and fruits. Hunk was so happy, he and Pidge had started analyzing the fruits and everything, eating sometimes some of them before controlling. Keith yelled at them something like "those are alien stuff! They could be dangerous! What if Pidge's tech doesn't find something bad in them, but there is?! ". They had immediately started arguing with him. Lance had never seen Hunk and Pidge so angry. Hunk returned with food of all kind, which he cooked for them in the evening. It was delicious. Keith was so quiet and tense, and didn't eat anything.  
  
After they found themselves in the lounge room, bickering, discussing, and arguing.  
  
Lance didn't know what had started it, but it had ended up with him yelling "at least I HAVE a family which is expecting me on Earth! Nobody is searching for YOU! And being a Garla, you're not even one of us!". He had seen the hurt in those violet eyes, he hadn't really meant to hurt him that badly. How could he have said that?! Pidge and Hunk were angry with Keith for what had happened on mission, and they hadn't even dared to look at him, if not with hate.  What he had said to make them so angry, he didn't know, but nobody tried to help him, to tell him otherwise.  
  
He didn't remember talking to him after that. He still needed to apologize.  
  
And then they were in the hangar. Keith's red armor was on the ground and there was no sign of him.  
  
<< KEITH! >> Yelled Shiro << Keith! Please! If you're here, answer! >>  
  
They got near the red lion, which immediately, rose her barrier up, roaring at them. The yellow eyes were full of anger and hate.  
  
<< Red? What is it?! >> Asked Shiro  
  
And then Lance spotted a pool of blood, behind one of Red's left front paw. He run around the barrier, finding Keith on the floor, pale, shaking and covered in blood. His own hearth dropped, destroyed in thousand of pieces. What had happened? What?! How did he end up like that?! And then he spotted the knife, covered in blood, in his hand. Had Keith...? Had he tried to kill himself? Why? Was it Lance?  
  
<< KEITH! WAKE UP! >> He yelled, hitting the barrier << PLEASE! >>  
  
The red lion roared with fury, towards Lance.  
  
<< Please, open up, we have to help him! He's going to die like this! >> Shiro yelled.  
  
"You killed him!" Roared Red in their heads " You hurt him for three entire months! You tortured him! And now you say you want to help him!?!"  
  
What? They had done that to him? And...three entire months?  
  
<< Red, we don't remember. We just woke up feeling bad, and... Keith will die if we don't help him. Please Red... >>   
  
And the other lions were roaring too, towards Red. After a moment they felt her again.  
  
" You better not be lying, monsters ! " She roared.  
  
Her barrier went down and Lance run to Keith, taking him into his arms. He was really pale, with black bags under his eyes, covered in bruises. His lower lip was swollen, and he seemed a lot thinner than he remembered. The thing that shocked him was that Keith had cut his own wrists with that knife. The galra knife.  
  
He was still breathing. He was still alive. He could be saved.  
  
He stood up, holding him closely and run to the medical bay, hoping to save him just in time. He had loosed too much blood.  
  
He arrived in the medical bay, and laid him down gently on a soft bed, so they could prepare him for the cryo pod. Coran bandaged the wrists, stopping them from loosing other blood, than they dressed him up with the cryo suit and put him into the pod.  
  
What had happened?!  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________________  
  
  
   
During the two weeks Keith was stuck in the cryo pods, they tried to ask the lions what had happened. They answered they had started yelling at Keith an insulting him badly every time they saw him. The worst one was Lance.  
  
He blocked Keith in the corridors and insulted him, until Keith started to shake like a leaf, pale and out of breath. Initially, Keith answered, but....seeing nobody was on his side, the insults started to get to him. He started to think he was useless, pathetic, that they were angry at him just because he was weak, so he started training so hard in the training deck, he lose track of the time, and eventually passed out.  
  
" We keep you, just because it would put all of us in danger not having the red paladin "  
  
" Are you going to kill us in our sleep, Galra scum?! You can't even defend yourself !"  
  
" I hate you! "  
  
Shiro and Allura were the first ones to hurt him physically, saying it was because he was Galra.  
  
They had no mercy for him, they hit him hard. Shiro broke his right arm and his nose. Keith hadn't cried, hadn't said anything. He was too numb from insults to do anything. He had accepted it. He didn't dare to use a cryo pod, because he knew they wouldn't let him, and bandaged himself up the best way he could, but he couldn't train anymore because of the arm. He started failing missions.  
  
He didn't practically eat anymore. Not with them around.  
  
He was afraid of finding them in the training deck, or in the corridors. If he stayed too much in a place, he knew they would find him and hurt him.  He often hided and passed out in the Red lion, his only friend on the ship. The only one comforting him and telling him he was loved and to keep living, because of the Universe.  
  
They had called out for him the day before they woke up, to communicate to him he was going to be ejected into space that evening, to be given to the Galra, just as he deserved. It was Shiro to say that. And Keith just nodded, shaking on his feet. He returned to the Hangar, to talk to Red. He talked to Red all the night, losing track of the time, while the others lose consciousness. Red distracted Keith from that until the others were awake, hoping the would have mercy of him and save him even if the lion didn't want them near him anymore. Keith decided late in the morning to kill himself. He said "I'm a terrible pilot, Galra scum, I fail missions, I am the enemy... I don't even know why you stay with me... I don't have anybody to live for, because I'm sure you're just bearing me because of the Universe's sake. You'll find another paladin, Red. Sure, much better than me ". And Red couldn't stop him from cutting his own wrists.  
  
<< How could I? >> Asked Shiro breathless, hands shaking. How could he break his little brother like that?  
  
<< We...we hurt him...>> whispered Hunk, shaking.  
  
<< Guys, I think...I think it was the food from the last planet we landed on >> Pidge said << I controlled it with the altean tecnology: all the plants on that planet have a strange chemical to recognize between them. When something or someone doesn't have it, the chemical reacts and... messes up with proteins, mostly hormones. It can cause anger. The mushrooms infected us with their spores, but Keith didn't eat them, so he didn't have that chemical in him, so we attacked him >>   
  
<< So...you're saying some freaking mushrooms made us cause Keith's suicide?! >> Yelled Lance  
  
<< Yes >>   
  
<< Oh my... we're going to have to apologize. We're going to repair all of this...oh my ...>> Hunk was freaking out.  
  
Lance run out of the room, going to the cryo pod.  
  
He hurt him. He would never forgive himself.  
  
That night they all slept in front of the cryo pod.  
  
   
  
_______________________________________________________________________________________  
   
  
  
  
After two weeks the doors of the cryo pod shifted open, letting Keith fall forward. Lance caught him, hugging him tightly.He was still too pale and too tin, but at least he had recovered from the blood loss. He didn't recognize anybody at first, eyeing everyone with his purple and confused glare. He seemed a bit out of it.  
  
Lance remembered how he felt when he came out of the pod for the first time. He understood it, but he didn't know what Keith would have done, if he was okay emotionally. Maybe the healing pod had fixed that too (that was a mere hope, he knew they didn't work like that, but he still hoped). He hoped he had listened to what they had said about what had happened, but he hadn't and Lance knew that. He knew Keith wasn't okay.   
  
Keith blinked a couple of times, trying to clear the fog in his vision and then looked up to see Lance, smiling brightly at him.  
  
<< Welcome back, buddy >> he greeted him.  
  
And then Keith was scrambling away from him, scared, falling to the ground whispering something repeatedly. He was shaking and whimpering, panting and glaring at them with clear fear.   
  
Lance tried to reach him, but Keith started retrieving, arriving after a moment against another healing pod, hitting it with his back. He pulled his knees up, and hugged them, hiding his face between his legs. Lance started to panic too, desperately wanting to confort and hug him, telling him he was okay, that they wouldn't hurt him.   
  
Shiro put a hand on Lance's shoulder, and approached the boy, slowly. They never tough for a second they would see him like that. Lance had wished it while they were at the garrison, but now... Keith was his friend and he really cared about him. Shiro had revealed to them Keith's horrible past, to help them understand him, his strange behavior. He had revealed the way the poor boy had been abused and kicked away and in the system care, rejected. Keith had never had a family. Lance couldn't imagine his life without his own, and really missed them. They had promised to never hurt him and there they were. Hunk was almost crying, and he swore he heard Pidge sniff. He noticed the way she looked away, pale in the face.   
  
<< Keith... >> Shiro called him, approaching him as if he was a wounded animal.   
  
<< I'm sorry...I...I should have gone to the Galra. I...I ... >>   
<< Keith, WE are sorry >> Shiro interrupted him. But Keith didn't look up, he started shaking more and more as the black pilot  
  
<< I know, you are sorry you took me with ...with you and... >>   
  
<< No! >> Hunk exclaimed, making Keith go quiet. He started trying to stop the shivering, to cover it up. He was so scared, he feared them so much << Keith, WE are sorry because WE treated you like shit >>   
  
<< W...what? Oh...I get it, you should have treated me worse, as I deserve ... >>. His words made them all go quiet. How could they reduce him like this?! Keith was strong, passionate, impulsive, a hot head. Where was his rage? His strength?! What had they done to him?!   
  
<< Keith, no. You don't deserve it >> Shiro tried to make him understand that, but it was so difficult. He was used to them HATING him, HITTING him, not CARING about him. Shiro bit his lips when he saw Keith stop shivering. He looked up after a moment. He needed to find his courage. Keith was courageous! He needed that NOW!?! This couldn't be Keith.   
  
<< But ...I ...I >> he was stuttering, hugging himself, remaining on the cold floor << I'm a Galra and... and ... and... I fail missions, I can't even do anything, I'm a terrible pilot too >>   
  
<< No! That's me you're talking about, mullet. Galra apart >> Lance said smiling.  
  
<< If you're going to hurt me, there is no need to pretend to be nice before! >> He yelled << Just do it ! >>   
  
<< We're not going to hurt you >> Pidge said, finally looking at him << you're part of our family, we don't care if you're Galra! >>  
  
  
___________________________________________________________________________________________  
   
  
  
They escorted Keith to the dining room after almost calming him down. He didn't want to be carried, and didn't get too close to any of them, even if he felt weak. He eyed them suspiciously every few times.   
  
He looked at the delicious plate of food in front of him, made by Hunk. It was his way of saying sorry. It broke his heart when Keith glanced at him confused and suspicious but didn't dare to touch it.   
  
<< Keith, c'mon. It's for you >> he said with a smile. Keith looked at the plate, then at Hunk, then at the others who were staring at him. He was really on the edge, as if they were hiding something. As if they were trying to make him trust them again, just to be betrayed << I SWEAR THERE ISN'T POISON THERE! >>   
  
<< I'm not hungry >> He pushed the plate forward, breaking Hunk's heart. Lance embraced him and comforted him << Hunk, Keith would love it, but he's sick for now, okay? >>  
  
Shiro sighed and suggested to explain Keith what had happened.   
  
He listened to Pidge's explanations as he started to shake.  
  
<< Keith, we're sorry >>   
  
<< Just fucking eject me into space. Stop lying >>   
  
<< Keith...please, we aren't lying >> Shiro tried, but the boy wasn't listening to him  
  
<< Why didn't you let me die?! You were going to find another red paladin, surely better than me! Just...JUST LET ME DIE ALREADY! >> Keith stood up clenching his fists. He wasn't ready for this. His body was tired. He was going to hurt himself.  
  
Coran was ready to put him to sleep using a strange altean needle. He didn't want to do it, but if he didn't calm down, he would have to. He hated to see the boy like that. They weren't that close, Keith didn't like to open up, he was always quiet, but Coran had noticed Keith was the only one who truly listened to his story about Altea and the "good old times", and he seemed interested in them for real! He knew the boy liked him, but he didn't know how to start a conversation with him, or to ask for a story without feeling too embarrassed. He knew Keith's silence came from pain and loneliness.  
  
<< Keith...we ...we love you. We would have never done anything to hurt you like that >> Hunk tried to reason with him. Lance was almost in tears and he didn't know why. Seeing Keith in so much pain made him feel too bad for caring just as a friend. He wanted to help him, but he couldn't make his pain stop instantly.   
  
<< You talk like that, but it wasn't the first time >> he replied. They were taken aback by that << you hate me! Lance! You hated me at the Garrison, and you hate me more NOW! And Shiro is just stuck with me! I'm an experiment to Pidge and "GALRA KEITH" to Hunk! If you hadn't noticed, Galras are destroying the Universe and ...and...and...I'm a fucking abomination. Allura hates me and.... Coran probably too, and they have all the rights...I already hate myself! I don't need someone to remind me! >>   
  
Allura's heart broke. It was her fault. She felt her throat go dry and she couldn't talk anymore. They were shocked. They couldn't move. Neither Shiro couldn't help, but look at him bluntly, not knowing how to help, what to do.  
  
<< No! You are not an abomination! >> Lance yelled in tears. And he hugged the boy, putting a hand on the back of his head to trap him. He caressed his hair, Keith tried to escape at first, but then he melted into the hug, not even having enough forces. Lance petted him gently << you are the harmony in this war! If a human and a galra fell in love, they did it not caring about Zarkon, about everyone. And you come from that. And even if they were bad, that doesn't make YOU bad. You decide who you are, and I'm pretty sure if Zarkon tried to order something to you, you would exit from the red lion, go to him and spit on him! And you attacked him! You hate that guy! How could you serve him? You are good! >>   
  
He sat down, taking him in his lap.    
  
Shiro sighed.  
  
<< Maybe we should leave them alone. Lance knows what to do >> Hunk said. And they all nodded, leaving them alone (taking forcefully Shiro with them).  
  
<< Keith, buddy...you are not alone. You are part of our family. You are part of mine! And when we will return to Hearth you'll come to meet my mother! And I'll say "mum! He is Keith, my space friend ! " >>   
  
<< We are... friends? >>   
  
<< Yes. We are all friends, and we love you! Just don't do that again. You scared me! I thought I was going to lose you! I thought for a moment we weren't going to return to Hearth together! >> Keith was shivering now, this time not in fear. He was cold. Lance smiled and hided him in his jacket, putting Keith's head on the crock of his neck. He hugged him with both of his hands. He saw his eyes, how hurt they were.  
  
<< Lance... because of me we can't form Voltron >>   
  
<< No, Keith. It's because of us. And we'll work on it, just like the team cheer! I say Vol, you say...? >> Lance really hoped he would get it right this time.  
<< Vol...tron? >> He said confused. Lance sighed, but smiled fondly at his cuteness. "Cuteness"? Whatever. He liked Keith. Probably Hunk had noticed and had made the others leave. Maybe Pidge had noticed it too. Ugh. Who cared. He had a Keith to comfort now!  
  
<< See? We need to work on it too. Together >>   
  
<< Lance, do you really want to be my friend? >>   
  
<< Yes! Sure. Unless you want to be more than that >> Had he really asked that? He wouldn't forgive himself for the embarrassment he was going to cause himself. There was no way Keith liked him in that way.   
  
<< You mean...? >>   
  
<< Yes >>   
  
<< We can be like space brothers? >> Lance's hearth cracked. He felt his inner voice sing " SPACEBROTHERZONED ".  
  
<< I didn't mean that, but if you want we can >>   
  
<< What did you mean ? >> Quiznack! Keith asked it. Mayday Mayday. Boat in collision!   
  
<< Space lovers? >> And then he leaned to kiss him. He gave him a quick peck on the lips, and felt him answer to it just for a little time, then stopped. He felt rejection hit over him, but then he noticed Keith had fallen asleep smiling.  
  
He wasn't still okay, and probably he would never forget that, he would probably have nightmares about it, and probably have depression issues, but everyone especially Lance, was going to be right by his side. Where a life was almost going to end, they found a new start.


End file.
